What happens when people who are supposed to be your rock, your confidants, and your guiding light become the source of your darkest fears? For millions of children, this is a harsh reality. The fear of parents among children or anxiety is a common phenomenon that can manifest in different ways including disapproval, punishments, rejection, anger and criticism
Anxiety is a common mental health condition characterized by feelings of worry, nervousness and fear that are persistent and overwhelming. This fear can be caused by; parenting style especially authoritarian parenting, childhood experiences like trauma, abuse or neglect, lack of open and positive communication and cultural expectations which may influence parenting styles. Children whose parents have mental health challenges are more likely to have poor mental and physical health. 62% of parents say being a parent is harder than they expected, with mothers being more likely to say it’s harder.
Little Jack was just 6 years old when his parents’ constant yelling and belittling became too much to bear. He would cower in fear as they screamed at him for the smallest mistakes. His parents’ words cut deep, making him feel worthless and unloved. Imagine how much anxiety this caused him! As time passed, Jack’s fear turned into anxiety and depression to the extent that he got a serious headache and fever but didn’t tell his parents in fear of being shouted at. He became withdrawn and isolated, too afraid to speak up or ask for help. His grades suffered and his once bright smile faded away.
One day, Jack’s parents had a particularly brutal fight, and he was left alone shaking in fear. That’s when he realized he couldn’t take it anymore. He ran away from home ending up in foster care. Years went by, but the scars remained. Jack struggled with trust and intimacy issues, always feeling abandonment and rejection. He felt like he was living in a constant state of hyper vigilance, never truly feeling safe.
Jack’s story is a heartbreaking reminder that childhood fear can have a long lasting impact.
His parents’ toxic behavior robbed him of his childhood, leaving him with a lifetime of emotional pain and struggle. It also shows the resilience of the human spirit and the hope that with support and love, healing is possible. Jack’s foster family out of concern and generosity opted to take him for counseling and guidance, prayers and overnights, befriend him like their own son, take him for picnics and encouraged him to be free and open with them for as much as he could.
Anxiety is a more of a liability than an asset in such a way that it breeds restlessness, fatigue, low concentration, insomnia, muscle tension, panic attacks and isolation among others. As we work to create a society that truly values and supports the wellbeing of children, let us remember that the most powerful tool we have is love, and the most essential lesson we can teach is that they are safe, seen and loved.