Iam called Dr Kansiime Ev as Atwiine. A family therapist, the founder and the CEO of the International Centre for Mental Health and Family Care. We will continue with our series on family relationships and today I would like to talk about the importance of healthy and effective communication. This is something that has always been talked about and a lot of advice given about communication, and its importance some people have actually said that communication is the bloodline of all relationships and I agree but what we are never told or taught is which communication is effective and which one is not effective. Now let me just quickly talk about the 3 components of good communication
The choice of words. Unfortunately, we think that talking is the same as communication. No, we have to be mindful of the words that we use. I like using scriptures in Proverbs 15 verse 1 which emphasizes the importance of kind words. Kind words are a life stream but cruel words crush the spirit. It is important to be mindful of what words you are using, some words are life-giving and some words crash the spirit so which words do you use when you are communicating remember when we want someone to listen to our message we have to be mindful of which words we use The second component is the voice tone.
The tone of your voice is very important for communicating the message but unfortunately most of the time we yell, scream, and think we are communicating. I would like to tell you as a psychologist that every time you yell, the person you are communicating to hears a noise and misses the message so if you want to be heard or you want to communicate an important message please pay attention to your voice tone. Your tone of voice can be a put-off for someone you are communicating with.
The 3rd component is your body language. Body language is how your body is communicating. Does it communicate grace or anger? Are you showing agitation? Are you listening? Or you are just looking anywhere else? Sometimes we say Keep talking and you are not giving eye contact
Remember your body language can communicate respect or lack of respect and every time the person you are communicating with detects disrespect, they zone out. They will not hear your message, so it is very important for us to pay attention to the three components; Body language accounts for 55%of all communication, your voice tone accounts for 38% both combined they are called non-verbal which is 93% of all communication and words account for only 7 % so let’s pay attention to thatLet me just summarize this by giving you quick important tips on good communication
Choose your words correctly – let your words communicate respect
Avoid emotional eruption (anger which is detected from the tone of your voice. It is very important to keep calm and communicate the message
Be a good listener. A good listener listens with their ears, eyes, and heart, and when we listen attentively and respectively then the person we are communicating with is able to listen most importantly lets us ensure that we consider that the person who is communicating with us also has an opinion and respects that. Remember all of us benefit from good communication.
When we feel someone has heard our heart out and has understood the message we are giving them. Good communication is important for a healthy relationship but also for our health so let us be deliberate and not just take comfort in the fact that we have talked. Remember talking is not the same as communication.
God bless you
